Whenever we encounter a problem in life, our first impulse is to ask the question “How do I solve this problem?” But what do you do if that simple question does not yield the answer that you need?
The question “How do I solve this problem?” is just the starting point. It merely positions you to recognize and accept that there is a problem to be solved. But you want to get the best possible answer, don’t you? You certainly aren’t looking for a bunch of things that may or may not work. You want the actual solution that will work.
Sometimes the solutions are immediately obvious, but other times they are not. Let’s talk about the times that the solution continues to elude you, no matter what you do. The problem continues to persist.
The first thing to do is to stop asking the same questions over and over again. Every question has an answer somewhere in the universe. In fact, it is the answer itself that begets the question in the first place, even if you can’t see what that answer is.
So if you keep asking the same questions over and over again, you will likewise get the same type of answers over and over again. Your answers will correspond to the question that you ask. This is why it is necessary to ask the right questions that hold the answers that you seek. If you ask the wrong questions, you will likewise continue to get the wrong answers.
Let me give you a common example of how this works. There are many examples of people who are desperately searching for the right marriage partner or mate, to no avail. Let’s use a fictitious character to explain this.
Imagine a woman named Judi. Let’s pretend that Judi has had a series of bad relationships, when all she really wants is a committed partner who will love and cherish her. Perhaps she even hopes to get married and raise a family someday.
But no matter how hard she tries, she continues to encounter men who either abuse her, don’t appreciate her, or are just not committed. What do you think is the most likely question that Judi continues to ask herself?
She’s probably asking herself, “Where is the right man for me?” or “How do I find him?” Yet, the more she looks, the more desperate she feels with every new failed relationship. She might even give up, and conclude that all men are bad.
The same question continues to yield the same failed answer to what she really wants. So what do you suppose she could do instead?
She could walk around the problem and look at it from a different angle. Instead of asking where this perfect guy is, she could look at herself and say, “What can I do differently to attract a different type of partner?” She could become more self aware, and examine her own mindset. She could start asking questions of herself like, “Is there something about my perspective on life and on myself that I need to change?”
By asking completely different questions from a totally new vantage point, she will unearth answers that were not available to her before.
You can apply this to any situation. Asking completely new questions from a different vantage point opens up a whole new group of possible answers for you to work with.
I encourage you to try this whenever you feel stuck. If you feel that you have tried everything and still have no solutions, try asking completely different questions. This is how you open the door to things that you could not see before.
So the simple formula is this: When you are stuck and have no solutions, do the following: Instead of just looking for answers, broaden your horizons. Look at the problem from a new perspective. Look for new questions that likewise will hold a new set of answers. Keep doing this until you find the right questions that will yield exactly the answers you seek.