The Secret To Overcoming Procrastination
The most important thing in overcoming procrastination is to understand what it is and learn how to recognize it. Let’s begin by taking note of where procrastination always shows up. It always occurs related to something positive that you intend to do in your life. Notice that you will never find yourself procrastinating about doing something harmful.
Here is a common example. Imagine you are starting a healthy diet to lose weight. Let’s say that a bag of potato chips sitting in your cupboard is just beckoning you to finish it off. Would you ever find yourself procrastinating about eating the whole bag? Of course not. The only thing you’d be procrastinating about is embarking on the new, healthy diet. It would go something like this: “Well, I can wait one more day to start my new diet. What’s one more day? Besides, I don’t want those yummy chips to go to waste. That would be wrong!” No procrastination problem when it comes to those chips, right?
Procrastination always acts as an impediment to bettering your life in some way. It does not seem to have any problem staying out of your way when you are in the process of making things worse. If you are inclined to do something that is wrong for you, procrastination is nowhere to be found. So now we know that procrastination will only show up when you want to do something good or expansive for yourself. That’s its playing field.
Let’s look at the contrast to see this very clearly. Here is a list of positive things that one might want to do in order to better him or herself and create a happier, more peaceful life: exercise, learn a new skill, implement a new business, spend time with a loved one, eat a healthy diet, get organized, etc. Each of these things will lead to a better, higher quality of life. Who is likely to be your best friend if you entertain any of these ideas? Procrastination of course! It will immediately show up on your doorstep with its warm, fuzzy blanket full of all your bad habits and encourage you to sit on your sofa and do nothing at all.
On the other side of this story is another list: watching hours of TV, hanging out on social media out of pure nosiness, gossiping for hours, eating tasty junk food, watching endless YouTube videos, etc. Try to find procrastination showing up to prevent you from doing any of these things. It’s nowhere to be found, is it?
Okay, so now we have put the spotlight on where procrastination lives. That mystery has been exposed. The next step is to understand its nature. Because we live in a dualistic universe of right/wrong, good/bad, etc., everything you do immediately brings up its polar opposite somewhere in your experience. That is why it is important to choose. Which side of the dualistic fence are you going to fall on?
Let’s say that you are dissatisfied with your life. What is the opposite of that? A satisfying life, of course. What if you don’t have enough money and perceive yourself as poor? What’s the opposite? A higher income and wealth. Suppose you know that you are not living your life’s purpose. What is the opposite? Living your purpose. So wherever you are dissatisfied in life, you will naturally desire to change that by deciding to live its opposite.
You can look at your life as having these two simple components: the things you are happy with and the things you are not happy with. Because we are beings of light and love, there would be no reason to attempt to change what brings light and love into our lives. However, there are tremendous reasons to change what we are unhappy about. Whether we succeed in doing this or not, we will always desire it nonetheless, because we naturally want our lives to exist in harmony with our truest selves.
This brings into bold relief the simple fact that our fundamental aim in life is to change what is unhappy for us into that which is happy. Here is where procrastination enters the picture. It manifests in a number of different forms designed to prevent us from succeeding at this. Why would this happen? It’s because change threatens the fundamental identity that has been fashioned for us by our individual egos. The ego wants you to believe that who you are is what you have become so far. This is not true! The truth is that who you are is the person who has allowed yourself to become what you are today. Do you see the distinction?
If you understand this vital distinction, you will realize that nothing can threaten or change your true identity. It’s not your identity that you wish to change. What you wish to change is the way in which you have manifested the expression of that identity. Are you happy with that expression or not? The ego has you believing that you are the expression itself, therefore you should never change it. But of course you should change it, if it is not authentic to what you really feel and doesn’t make you happy!
The ego’s version of you is like saying that a violin can only play one song. It’s like saying that the violin is the song. According to the ego, if that violin considers playing another song, then the existence of the violin is threatened. It’s like saying that the violin is in danger of becoming a flute, or a drum, or maybe even two pots banging together. Of course we know that this is preposterous. Yet, when it comes to ourselves, we act as though such lunacy could happen to us. We act as though if we express a different outcome in our lives, we might turn into a different person. Well, no you won’t. You will always be the same, exact person. You will just be manifesting something completely different and will probably be much happier as a result.
Procrastination is the result of believing that you are the outcome. It is resistance to a false idea that by changing your expression, you change who you are. It is the result of believing that you are the song, when in truth you are the violin that can play any song you want. You can play an ugly, disharmonious screeching sound or you can play a gorgeous melody. Neither one of these outcomes changes the fundamental reality that you are the instrument playing whichever song you choose.
So the final definition of procrastination is that it is a manifestation of resistance or fear related to a false belief that by changing your life for the better, you run the risk of losing your current identity. Change therefore becomes a survival issue. It is erroneously perceived as a threat to the existence of your core identity. If you believe this, then you have mis-identified yourself. You are therefore saying that the only way to hold onto knowing who you are and finding security in that knowing is to make sure that your outcomes remain the same. At least then, you know that you still exist in an intact, recognizable way, even if you’re miserable. This is why procrastination is often seen as your friend. It is falsely perceived as a protective comfort zone designed to protect your identity and keep it intact.
So what is the secret to overcoming procrastination? The secret is that once you see it for what it is, you realize that it is not procrastination that you must overcome. What you need to eliminate is a false belief that you are your own outcomes. When you understand that nothing in the universe has the power to change who you are, you recognize that you are free to produce any outcome you want. Procrastination ceases to be a major problem, when you realize that it is merely a symptom of this false belief.
What have you learned about yourself as you think about these ideas? Share your thoughts with me in the comments below. I’d love to know your perspective!
Oh my, that was an eye opener!!! Big time! Thank you for spelling it out so clearly. I am looking forward to watch from observer where else that ego/fear combination shows up.
Thank you for that insight – it almost made me laugh because it is basically so simple :))
You are so welcome, Ursula. It’s so true, isn’t it? When you step back and see it without identifying with it, it’s not so complex or difficult anymore.
Thank you for sharing now it will be alot easier for me to get motivated and get things done thanks again
That’s awesome, Lydia! I’m so happy this was helpful. 🙂
I have struggled with this as long as I can remember. I even put off reading the whole article at first. lol. I knew it had something to do with my fear of change but not really WHY I was afraid of it. It is certainly more comfortable and cozy to stay in the same old rut. If I do make changes and don’t succeed then I have to admit defeat and that is definitely frightening. Hopefully with my eyes open this will be less of a problem for me . Wish me luck!
Tresa, that is truly funny that you procrastinated on reading this whole article. 🙂
You bring up such an important point about a very common fear of trying to make changes and then not succeeding. I think a way to help with this is to change your mindset around defeat, starting with not regarding it as defeat. Instead, you could look at it as you tried something and it didn’t work the first time. But that’s okay because you are allowed to try again as many times as you want. There are no limits on this.
Think of it as though God has given you an unlimited number of tickets to try again. You will never run out of these tickets, because there is an endless supply. So therefore, you really can’t fail in any ultimate sort of way. You can only stop using your tickets. This might sound silly, but it’s actually true! There is endless patience and love for you in the process of your own evolution.
All of our problems in this regard stem from judging ourselves. Love never judges us. So feel free to fail as many times as it takes. You will learn something each time, and eventually you will succeed. Much love!
Saratoga, I know this one is for me. Well, not only me, literally. But as I mentioned in the last blog, I found myself procrastinating to take the necessary steps to move my association forward.
You are right, procrastination shows up with impending changes. Reflecting back, my life seemed to have been revolving perpetually in states of resistance, which, to me, is rooted in an subconscious fear.
The nature of this fear, I observe, is not so much running the risk of losing your current identity; then again, I will have to agree you, because I seem tome that I fear becoming what I truly AM. Like the flute, which has been comfortable playing only one tune, it fears it is not capable enough to play other tunes, until it is surrounded by other instruments, masterfully played. I then get inspired, at such times, to stretch my boundaries, only to act like a “common’ violin again.
I have gained much courage now, to look fear in the face as I step beyond the boundaries I had set for myself. Procrastination was my crutch. At least, it kept me wanting to do the things I needed to do to change my circumstances – if only by thinking about them.
Keeping my life simple, and working on achieving all tasks I set out to do each day, are some steps I am applying for successful outcomes.
My deepest gratitude to you, for dwelling into this subject matter.
Monica
Monica, I was thinking that procrastination can also be defined as a fear of change. It is how we manifest resistance to change. This is why I always recommend baby steps. It’s almost like you have to coax your brain to go along with a new way of life.
Writing daily affirmations over and over again is one way to get your brain and its neural networks to shift over to a new way of doing things. The more you do this, the more your brain will get comfortable with something new.
Another powerful trick is to get as emotionally involved as you possibly can with the new way of doing things. Find ways to visualize and emotionalize a new, more positive way of life, and really get into it. This will help coax your brain and your overall thinking to a new way, along with new, corresponding behavior.
And finally, pay no attention to the ego, whose favorite two words are “You can’t”. Realize that the ego is just an empty voice in the ethers and has no true meaning at all, unless you believe it does. Only you can assign meaning to its negative rantings. Without your cooperation, it means nothing. I hope this helps! 🙂
Wow what an eye opener! I never thought that fear of changing who I am was behind my procrastination…& it ‘s so true..it always comes up when it’s doing something to better myself! Change has always been difficult for me…it gets me out of my comfort zone. Another thing it does is that it affirms what I believe…that I’m not good enough because I don’t do what I should& it confirms my label of being a procrastinator…which I believed was being “not good enough!”. Thank you so much!
Jeanette, it might help if you realize that we are all procrastinators in some way, because we all resist change. So perhaps no one on Earth has the exclusive rights to that title. Lol 🙂
Do you want to know what makes a person “good enough”? It simply means that you keep trying no matter how many times you fail. We all tend to make the mistake of judging ourselves based on the number of times we fail. But failure is part of a larger process. I have a different definition for failure. I call it extended learning. And it really is okay to extend your learning process for however long it takes. There really are no limits.
Here is a new idea: How about reframing failure in the following way? Each time you try, that means you did something good. If you fail, well, just try again. You did something good again! If you fail yet again, so what? Try yet another time. And on and on it goes…
Where did we all get the idea that we only get a limited number of tries and then it’s all over? I think we just made that one up. 🙂
What a joy this is to read! I love all the music references. 🙂
I realized something today about procrastination. Whatever the ego suggests to be more fun or enjoyable is usually not enjoyable at all in the end. People often go way overboard on these kinds of things and can be left feeling pretty ungrounded or even totally burnt out afterwards. Like watching TV all day long or something like that – it can be almost like an addiction. Does anyone ever really feel better afterwards? There’s certainly no sense of satisfaction at accomplishing something meaningful.
I used to procrastinate quite a bit around creating music, but lately, when I am writing a new song or playing an instrument, I feel so full of purpose and inspiration. How odd that what the ego came up with could have seemed so appealing.
What a stark contrast!
Another great point, Avalon. You are so right. It is weird how whatever means we use to procrastinate always seems to leave us feeling awful when it’s over. I think it’s because we know that we just spent time going against our better, creative selves. You are right about this amazing contrast.
Saratoga,
this is really a good one! I mean, they all are, but this is such a good one. Procrastination parading as a good friend is funny, but another insight as to who I really am is invaluable.
I have found that when I ‘put things off’ its because I am fearful of something… then When I look back, I realized I made a mountain out of a molehill . Recently I had come to see that more and more, just kind of amazed at the repetitive behavior. I feel like I can see this more clearly now. Thank you for such a great expose!
Barb, this is another terrific point. I think you are right – procrastination almost always involves making a mountain out of molehill. It’s related to this false anticipation of change being so huge and terrible, which of course it never is. Again, this is why I think baby steps can be so effective, if they are consistent. It’s more difficult to be convinced that small steps are scary and intimidating. But the key is repetition and consistency.
Once you are comfortable with repeating one small step of change over and over again, then add a new one. Keep going in this way, and you will realize that those small steps eventually add up to one big step!