The Ultimate Secret to Weight Loss
Why is weight loss so difficult to achieve? I am going to share with you some secrets that I am certain you haven’t heard before. There are some basic concepts that are entirely missing in many, if not all weight loss programs, which is why they are so often doomed to fail.
Even if you don’t feel a need or a desire to lose weight, please read this anyway! You will definitely benefit because there are principles that you can apply to achieve what you want in any area regarding your experience of your physical body. These principles can transform the quality of your life.
Let me start with my disclaimer first. I am not about to present you with yet another weight loss program. (ugh!) Instead, I am going to help you with your overall consciousness around this issue. (Just remember to check with your qualified health care professional before embarking on any weight loss or exercise program.)
And just one more quick thing…
If you are wondering about my qualifications to talk about this subject, I am also a former fitness professional and ballet dancer. I have extensive training in dance, fitness, and body building. I have the previous experience of successfully training hundreds of people in the Washington DC area who were interested in having a healthy and fit body.
But I am not going to be offering you an exercise program either. I want to talk to you about the consciousness that surrounds the subject of your physical body.
What is the problem with most weight loss programs?
Most weight loss programs focus on two things: What you eat and how much your body weighs. Does this sound inspiring? Not really! This is a rather dumbed-down way of looking at yourself. You are so much more than an “eating machine” after all!
So the first problem is the framework. No one wants to think of themselves as a mere machine that eats too much food and too much of the wrong food. And besides, that bad food tastes pretty darn good, doesn’t it?
Basically, this elementary approach puts all of your focus on exactly the thing that is causing the problem in the first place – a focus on food! The idea in many weight loss programs is to focus on food in a different way. But you’re still focused on the food.
And then the way that you measure how well you’re doing with food is to put your body on one of those measuring devices called a scale. (Or maybe it’s a tape measure. Same thing.) The scale is there to tell you if you are succeeding or failing when it comes to what you eat. A rather demeaning way of treating yourself, don’t you think?
So where are you in all of this? Most likely, you are just a slave to the process. In fact, if you need a scale to tell you how you are doing with the process, that is a clear indication that you are not really present inside your own body.
No one wants to be treated as though their entire well-being and happiness is connected to what goes in their mouth and how the scale measures that. This is one reason that most diets fail and are unsustainable in the long run.
The other problem with this mentality is that it often presumes a quick fix to the problem. Just eat less overall, and eat more of the right foods for a certain period of time and voilà! Problem solved!
Except not really. As soon as the diet and deprivation are over, guess what. Time to go back to what you were doing before! You succeeded at losing the weight, so now you don’t have to worry about it anymore, right? This “finish line” approach is almost always guaranteed to fail in the longer run.
This is not to say that all weight loss programs are bad. There are probably some really good ones out there. But if you embark on one, you may want to begin by stepping back and taking a look at your overall consciousness first.
The 6 main ways that you are guaranteed to fail
Before we talk about how to succeed at weight loss, let’s talk about some of the ways that you are guaranteed to fail. That way you won’t waste any more time on what doesn’t work.
- You think it’s all about how much you weigh when you stand on a scale.
- You want to lose weight because you hate yourself and the way you look.
- You need outside feedback to know how well you’re doing.
- You are solely reacting to outside pressure from someone else who insists that you need to lose weight.
- You are focused entirely on diet, food, guilt, and deprivation.
- You think you can solve this problem in a matter of weeks or a few months.
Take a step back and start over again!
Now that we’ve talked about what doesn’t work, let’s discuss how to succeed!
You have to begin with ascertaining your overall relationship with your physical body and why that is important. You have to get the focus off of food and back into your physical body’s center. And you have to know why that matters to you.
Here is a simple process that can help you move in this positive direction:
- Set aside some quiet time and make a handwritten list of all of your negative thoughts about your body. When you are finished, tear it up and throw it away. Ask your angels to cut any psychic cords of attachment that you may have to these negative beliefs. Now make a clear statement to yourself that you are finished with any and all negative thoughts about your physical body. Offer yourself forgiveness for any mean-spirited thoughts that you previously harbored against yourself.
- Next do a positive body meditation. Focus on your breathing in order to center yourself and get back into your physical body. If you need help staying focused, music can help with this. Let the vibration and melody of the music enter your body and then follow it as it winds its way through your physical system. In this way, the music can guide your consciousness back into your body.
- Now write down some positive, body affirmations. Here are a few to get you started:
“I love my body.”
“I love to feel my body from the inside out.”
“I love being fully conscious inside my body.”
“I am so excited to create exactly the body that I want.”
“I am so excited to take wonderful care of my physical body.”
“I love being in a physical body. It feels so good!”
Notice that none of these affirmations are about food. The whole idea is to get your attention off of food and shift your consciousness back into a love for your physical body.
The reason this works is because when you hate your physical body, you don’t much care what you put into it or how you treat it. As you begin to love it and to love the experience of being in your body, you will naturally change many of your viewpoints about how you treat yourself. You will begin to feel inspired instead of obligated and guilty.
This process becomes extremely powerful if you do the positive body meditation and affirmations every day.
A Powerful Paradigm Shift for Successful Weight Loss
Here’s where we get down to the bottom line. Successful weight loss is not a formula. It’s not about food and scales. It is all about your ability to find joy in your physical body. You are not seeking ways to eat less. You are seeking ways to find joy in being alive. That should be your first priority.
In order to feel joy in your physical body, you have to be conscious and present in your body. You can’t be checked out and hateful towards yourself. You can’t afford to be unconscious. You have to learn to feel again on a physical level.
One of the best ways to feel your physical body from the inside out is to move it. If you sit in a chair all day staring at a screen, you are not going to feel anything. Well, you might feel something. You will definitely feel what it’s like to physically deteriorate. But that’s not joyful, is it?
As sentient beings, we crave the experience of consciousness. We want to feel conscious in our bodies. We want to feel sensation. If you stay physically checked out and unconscious most of the time, the main sensation that may be left for you is eating all of that tasty junk food. So you may begin to crave that as your favored outlet to really feel physical sensation in your life. You may become overly focused on the sensation of taste and eating.
But that’s a pretty small outlet of sensation, isn’t it? And having more and more of those tasty experiences to fill you up is never enough, is it?
What you really want is a whole body sensation that is present all of the time. What you really want is to feel conscious again. You want the sensation of being fully present in your body.
In fact, the idea is to love the experience of whole body consciousness so much that it becomes your primary means of feeling good. In order to do this, you are going to have to physically move. You are going to have to be inspired.
The great thing about this paradigm shift is that your entire mindset will begin to change. You won’t want the excess fat because you will realize that it impedes your ability to feel. Food will become secondary and feeling your body consciously will become your primary, first desire.
In short, you can become physically fulfilled by your own consciousness filling your body. It won’t be necessary to overeat in a failed and unhealthy attempt to create a substitute experience for this.
From this point on, you will become naturally interested in your own health. It won’t be coming from a negative place of self-hate. Instead, it will come from inspiration and joy. You will start to make the connection between good health and the experience of being physically conscious in your own body. Being present and conscious in your body will be the thing that you crave most of all.
This is what is truly sustainable. This is something that, once discovered, you will never get tired of. You can say goodbye to guilt, negative thinking, and all of the other ineffective, soul-crushing attempts to lose weight. It won’t be about weight anymore. It will be about the experience of feeling fully conscious, present, and alive inside your beautiful, physical self.
This is a big topic, and I couldn’t fit it all into one blog post. So I added more information and some how-to’s in a free “Love Your Body” checklist that you can download now. Just click the box below!
Did you find these ideas helpful even if you are not trying to lose weight? And if you have tried to lose weight, did you succeed or are you still trying to figure it out? I’d love it if you leave me a comment and share your thoughts below 🙂
Hi Saratoga, I don’t have a challenge with excess fat, yet I want to say that this is profound for me too. I have had negative thoughts about my body, and I’ve been hard on my body in other ways. I started writing some affirmations and realized that while there are times when I love and appreciate this physical body, I had developed a number of habits and ways of coping that numb me to the pain of living on planet earth and inhibit me from being fully here|present. I couldn’t write “I love being in a physical body” with complete conviction. The ego voice would tell me this is sad… and of course that is what is depressing! And then one has to find ways to cope with the depression, so it’s down another rabbit hole like Alice in Wonderland, and more crazy making with consequences, all in the name of “reality”?
I am grateful for the awareness – and in writing this sense it is a fight\flight program along the lines of “get me out of here” or “beam me up Scotty” (or as mentioned, “Alice”) running in the brain. It causes me to live on the surface and also to never full take in life or relax. So my intention is to work with this information and awareness to come to a place within where I can truly say I LOVE being alive in this body and mean it from the depth of my Being. That feels really beautiful. So thank-you for this. Love Eve
Eve, here is something that might help. Everything you said about the ego saying “This is sad”, etc. is coming from fear. (Maybe fear of self-expression?) Gosh, does the ego ever say anything positive? Heck no!
I always find it amusing how the ego says that everything is a disaster, and then asks you to rely upon it for all of its negative advice.
See if you can find some humor in this: Here you are in this great body – you say you don’t even have a weight issue. Lucky you!
But that’s no problem for the ego. It can make anything negative! So your body is fine, but the good ole’ ego is never deterred by goodness. It will say, “Oh, Eve. This is so sad! Here you are on Earth. What a terrible fate to be in a body at all.” 🙁
This is so goofy! Anyway, if I were you, I would consider this to be an issue of self-expression. If your ego can make your presence on this Earth so negative and meaningless, then what would be the need to express anything? Just a thought! Hope this helps 🙂
Eve, here is a P.S. for you – You will find the joy that you are looking for in being in your physical body through allowing yourself the freedom of self-expression. 🙂
Hi Saratoga,
I have struggled with my body image and weight loss and gain cycle my whole life , and it has been a painful experience. Even from the time I was a child, I was “fatter” than the other kids. Even my family ridiculed me and judged my appearance. I have been on every diet, some with great success, but in time, I return to the excess fat and an unhappy place that I am so familiar with.
While reading your blog, I am moved and brought to tears with the honest in your face truth, that I am hating my body. It stings to even write and acknowledge this. I don’t want to hate my body, yet I know this is accurate and how I am living. Physically unconscious. Why else would I punish and pummel my body with unnecessary foods , if I really loved it. This is a big hurdle for me, but I whole heartedly love and will embrace your suggestions. I feel love and see beauty in others and yet, not for my body. Ouch, this is an eye opener… but it is so obvious that I am holding on to past hurts and judgements.
There have been years where I’ve been so active and healthy, and I felt alive and naturally at ease. I know this is who I am. I really appreciate your straightforward approach to this serious matter., as I have been feeling stuck and unmotivated and yet I yearn to be free from these self imposed chains.
I love your blogs and your help
Much love
Judi
Judy, I am so appreciative of your courage in sharing this. This is so important and wonderful because you are really acknowledging where you are with your body. Even though it may be painful to acknowledge, it is evidence that you are taking your first steps into becoming conscious again. And that is the first step to return to the joy that you describe during the years that you felt active and healthy. So I hope you see this as moving in the right direction and going back to where you want to be. 🙂
It sounds like you internalized the childhood ridicule and unwittingly identified with it. So let’s just attribute that ridicule to the ignorance of those who purported such things. I refer to that as ignorance about the body. As you learn more about your own body, you will find it easier to forgive them, because you will see for yourself that they really didn’t know what they were talking about!
So maybe people said you were “fat”. Well, this might sound weird, but you are not “fat” and you never were. Think about what a dumb statement that really is! How could you be fat? Have you ever seen what actual fat looks like? Do you look like that? Of course not!
Here’s the thing about fat. If you have excess fat, it just means that your body was doing its job of dealing with any extra food that you were eating. It was just trying to store stuff that it couldn’t use. And it did a great job! Seriously – this is your body’s way of protecting you when you eat stuff that you know you shouldn’t.
So when people say they are “fat”, they are literally saying something that isn’t true! The reason that excess fat is detrimental is because it puts a strain on your system to have to carry it around all day long. That’s why you don’t feel so alive. It’s like having to carry heavy stuff, when you would rather be free to not carry anything.
I know that I’m just scratching the surface here of all that could be said. But hopefully, this can get you started in a more positive direction.
You are still as beautiful as you ever were. The idea of losing weight can be connected to uncovering the beauty that is already there. Excess fat is just like a blanket covering it up, that’s all. It’s not who you are. I hope this helps! 🙂
I can really relate to this blog!!! It is all so true. i have done a million diets. I think with each one I became more and more detached from my body. The diet accomplishes the exact opposite of what you want. Which is probably why people end up gaining more weight after every diet..Its a horrible experience.
Falling in love with your body. What a great idea. But this isn’t just falling in love with your body… these are steps to help become conscious and take conscious steps. (I love asking the Angels to help with this process). I also love Reset your relationship with your body, instead of reset your metabolism.
As I was reading this information it occurred to me that this conscious relationship with my body, would also help me deal with stress. It would help me handle situations differently so that I don’t get so stressed out. With such respect and Love, how could you allow stress to harm your body.
This is wonderful Saratoga. Thank you. What an incredible gift.
Kathleen, you bring up such a great point here about dieting. I am certain that it is indeed a horrible experience for most people. It’s the mindset that makes it so horrible. How could something like that be sustainable?
And then when it’s not sustainable, people feel like failures. Then after multiple failures, they feel hopeless and quit. And with each failure, it would be the obvious inclination to sink into deeper and deeper physical unconsciousness. Otherwise, it’s just too painful.
The real key here is to stop identifying with the fat. The fat is not “bad”, it’s just not necessary unless you are eating too much and too much of the wrong things. (I know that there are those with additional medical conditions, but I am not addressing those here. That subject is for the health care professionals.)
The key is to build a burning desire to feel and to see the beautiful body that lies beneath the fat. Stop identifying with the fat, everyone! You have a gorgeous body underneath it. That’s what you should be identifying with. 🙂
Thank you Saratoga so much for this, I can’t help but feel like you were speaking directly to me in this blog. I had to laugh when you said “If you sit in a chair all day staring at a screen, you are not going to feel anything. Well, you might feel something. You will definitely feel what it’s like to physically deteriorate. ”
Not that it’s funny, I was reading it with my daughter and even she laughed.. you described me to a “T”… It’s sad really… Yet its never too late.
I feel as though over the last decade of being as they call it “morbidly obese” that I have just been coming from and conscious from my head and ignoring my body and heart. I know when I look into my heart that I don’t want to stay this way. When I talk to my husband about me being morbidly obese, he says ” All I see is the woman that I love ” … I purposely look into mirrors that are from the neck up and avoid any pictures of me in full body. Talk about denial! It’s time to look in a mirror and see the “body” that I love and to treat it in the way it deserves.
The concepts that you speak of here … ironically has been on my mind lately and this is just confirmation that its time to act instead of “think” or “talk” … I have set myself up with healthy water.. that’s a good start and now its time to build a solid foundation for a new way to treat and be ” alive ” in my body that so desperately wants to rejuvenate itself.
Thank you for your timely blog and for all you do
– Susan McDonald
Thank you so much for sharing this, Susan. I’m certain that everyone who shares here is helping a lot of other people, so bless you for this!
As I said to the others here, the key is to get in touch with the beautiful body that lies beneath the excess fat. It will probably be very difficult to feel at first. But don’t let that deter you. You already know it’s there because you said that you are aware that your body desperately wants to rejuvenate itself. That beautiful body wants to come out and be free! That’s what you’re feeling.
The best way to start to feel again is to move. That’s why I suggest walking or stretching as a place to start. If you are indeed as you say “morbidly obese” (I wish they’d think of a more positive term, don’t you?) then you will likely need some professional guidance for exercise and nutrition. But that’s what the professionals are there for – they want to help!
Whatever you choose to do, the most important thing is that you give it time. The worst thing that I see are diets and programs that claim you can do this in a matter of weeks or a few months. That is just not realistic if you want to see permanent change. And who doesn’t want that?
Take small, consistent steps and keep going. Get professional advice where you need it. Take care of yourself and love yourself. Do positive affirmations. And be super grateful that you have such an awesome husband! I don’t think it is at all unrealistic to spend 1 – 3 years getting your body back into the shape you desire. Consistency is the most important thing.
I’m sending you tons of love and support to reveal to yourself the beautiful body that is the real you! 🙂
Thank you for such a beautiful article on seeing yourself inside out as we should this was so powerful and it really changed my way of thinking! I have always loved being in my body I just had some really bad hurts so I gained weight but I’m back on track now and very happy I really enjoyed reading this article thanks and God bless you
Sonja, I’m so glad this was helpful. I truly believe that any process we have with our bodies needs to feel positive, or it’s not sustainable. So glad to hear that you feel back on track again! 🙂